15yearold:

*dramatically falls down on my bed after a long day of sitting on the couch*

(via burmeistars)

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

image

  • start a boy band:

image

  • spot some choice booty:

image

  • break into song:

image

  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

image

  • attend a metal show:

image

  • listen to some sick jams:

image

  • discover zombieism:

image

  • sample some tasty snacks:

image

  • watch someone get burned bad:

image

  • find something you really like:

image

  • find something you really, really like:

image

  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

image

  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image

(via burmeistars)

pattylomein:

gallifrey-feels:

zzazu:

britney2007spears:

joebarborak:

thepurdypurdy:

THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN LAST WEEK AT MY LOCAL KMART. YES, THAT IS A SEALED VHS TAPE OF JIMMY NEUTRON THE MOVIE, IN 2014, AT KMART, SITTING NEXT TO DVDS AND BLU-RAYS, PRICED AT $8.99 
To give perspective, this film was released on VHS in 2002 and has been sitting unopened in a Kmart store for 12 years, longer than children now in middle school. 
Plain proof that no one does inventory or gives a shit at any Kmart anywhere. Someone could probably live in Kmart and have no one notice. 

In 2001, I did an experiment for school about the idea of living in a big-box store like this. I selected a busy 24hr Meijer, which is a midwest-only combination of Marts both K and Wal. I entered the store on a lovely friday afternoon, and didn’t leave the store until the following sunday evening. I read the entire magazine section, played all of the demos of the games in the electronics section, and beat minesweeper on my phone innumerable times. I ate at the pizza parlour they’d just installed, and slept on the display furniture. I wandered around the racks during the day, bored out of my skull. I considered buying frozen burritos and asking one of the employees if they had a breakroom where I could microwave them, but that felt like it wouldn’t truly answer the question if someone could live in a Meijer; I’d be using resources that weren’t public.
The only time I was ever asked if I needed any help was on sunday morning around 8am, and then it was only waking me up to ask me if I was drunk and had wandered in that night and fell asleep on their displays. I said, “no, I’m fine, I’m just trying this futon.” and was left alone.
The people that work there really don’t care.

u lived in a k-mart

This is the most magical thing I’ve ever had the privilege of reading

you deserve a book deal and a movie just for the phrase ‘marts both k and wal’ 

Magical

pattylomein:

gallifrey-feels:

zzazu:

britney2007spears:

joebarborak:

thepurdypurdy:

THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN LAST WEEK AT MY LOCAL KMART. YES, THAT IS A SEALED VHS TAPE OF JIMMY NEUTRON THE MOVIE, IN 2014, AT KMART, SITTING NEXT TO DVDS AND BLU-RAYS, PRICED AT $8.99 

To give perspective, this film was released on VHS in 2002 and has been sitting unopened in a Kmart store for 12 years, longer than children now in middle school. 

Plain proof that no one does inventory or gives a shit at any Kmart anywhere. Someone could probably live in Kmart and have no one notice. 

In 2001, I did an experiment for school about the idea of living in a big-box store like this. I selected a busy 24hr Meijer, which is a midwest-only combination of Marts both K and Wal. I entered the store on a lovely friday afternoon, and didn’t leave the store until the following sunday evening. I read the entire magazine section, played all of the demos of the games in the electronics section, and beat minesweeper on my phone innumerable times. I ate at the pizza parlour they’d just installed, and slept on the display furniture. I wandered around the racks during the day, bored out of my skull. I considered buying frozen burritos and asking one of the employees if they had a breakroom where I could microwave them, but that felt like it wouldn’t truly answer the question if someone could live in a Meijer; I’d be using resources that weren’t public.

The only time I was ever asked if I needed any help was on sunday morning around 8am, and then it was only waking me up to ask me if I was drunk and had wandered in that night and fell asleep on their displays. I said, “no, I’m fine, I’m just trying this futon.” and was left alone.

The people that work there really don’t care.

u lived in a k-mart

This is the most magical thing I’ve ever had the privilege of reading

you deserve a book deal and a movie just for the phrase ‘marts both k and wal’ 

Magical

(via attackofthekillershwees)

lunarobverse:

A brilliant metaphor
lunarobverse:

A brilliant metaphor
lunarobverse:

A brilliant metaphor
lunarobverse:

A brilliant metaphor
lunarobverse:

A brilliant metaphor

americansavior:

itsjustsatanthings:

cumber-bitches:

caswantsdeansassbutt:

cumber-bitches:

cumber-bitches:

I have fruit polos and lollypops be jealous.

omg do many people not know what fruit polos are? they are heaven

image

image

image

In America, we call them lifesavers. They can be chewy or hard candy. 

polos aren’t chewy and they also come in mint.

image

image

this week on: britan thinks its special

(via burmeistars)

taherehmafi:

a couple shots of us from david branson’s #juneportraitseries  taherehmafi:

a couple shots of us from david branson’s #juneportraitseries 

taherehmafi:

a couple shots of us from david branson’s #juneportraitseries 

(via youngadultread)

australian-government:

I hate when people ask questions during movies like do you not understand that the movie purposly doesn’t tell you things in order to build suspense

(via newbatteriesforyourhalo)

fulllblownrose:

It’s too hot *opens window* in comes 20 flies, 8 spiders, 17 daddy long legs, 50 moths, 3 dragons and 12 Jehovah’s witnesses.

(via ethelreds)

truezodiacfact:

We’re adults and we get to decide what that means: The Home Depot Edition

(via burmeistars)

renee-twin:

acceptingamerican:

A 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn’t want the seat. The seat was next to a black man. Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said “I cannot sit here next to this black man.” The fight attendant said “Let me see if I can find another seat.” After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated “Ma’am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class.” About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated “The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to such a disgusting, unpleasant person, the captain has agreed to allow the switch to first class.” Before the woman could say anything, the attendant turned to the black man and said, “Therefore sir, if you would please retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class, as the captain would hate for you to have to sit next to such a disgusting person.”

Passengers in the seats nearby began to applause while some gave a standing ovation.

Forever reblog

HAAAAA

(via burmeistars)

wrote:

sassy english teachers are the best because they’re beyond sarcastic and somehow always end up insulting the kid that you hate and everyone else likes

(via burmeistars)

fandomsandfeminism:

nijimei:

cherucat:

straight people are  so weird wtf like heres a drawing of two animals in love but one has eyelashes so you know these are Straight Animals

image

Even their god damn umbrellas have to be heteronormative.

(via burmeistars)